Oh. I guess so?

Wow.

3 months gone so fast. A summer waisted to 90% of time spent at home. The other 10% leaving my mind unsettled upon certain matters. But as the dust settles and we see whats left. I’m left with summer reading in need of attention. A xbox 360, Taekwondo, and myself. Days spent this summer from Christians house to Great America. Spent with friends. My best friend. Damn we take things for granted. I’m happy to have friend who I can give a birthday gift and a Christmas gift to, considering his are only how many days apart. I know he knows I care for him, but its not just about me being a friend. It works both ways. Hey I’m only human. We all pride ourselves with titles an little inside jokes created that stuck, from Grant’s ASS. Irene’s Irene. Christian’s heart, Chesca’s sadistic attitude, Gaea’s motherly affection, and Rokie being well. Rokie. I’ve before I’ve bee the glue in some peoples eyes. But I’m just glad to be here. With out our friends, we have family, without our family, we have ourselves. As you peel back those layers of your creature comforts and life choices. Our choices make us. Had I payed more attention in certain asspects of my own life. I’m just me. We lean upon one another. Be our friendships run thin and the memories becoming a tad bit hazed. We lean on one another. It doesn’t matter. We cling to emotion. We need eachother. Don’t take your friends for granted. Take the time to think and be glad that we are friends and what that means to you personally. Call a friend up just to see how their doing. Give a gift. Big or small, expencive or cheap. Its the thought that counts and thats all there is to it. Love each other. make the things that wiegh your mind free. Talk it out. Its what friends are for right? Our choices make us. I’ve learned that and I’m sure we all come to realize. We are not always great full. but be there when it counts.

Wow.

I just typed up a long rant about how my life sucks. But now I’m happy. My life is average. And I’m happy. Wow. I feel. Great. Haha. I can just sit here and laugh at life. I’m sitting here laughing. Life its self sucks. Its odd to think that ones life sucks. But its not your life. Its life in general.I can’t change everything. But I can do my best. I can live my life that’s about it.

Why not enjoy it?

Oh my…

I’m sitting here thinking on life, pondering those in which I’ve lost and that I’ve yet to meet. Such things in which my mind slowly rolls over. Contemplating such. I’ve changed over the years. I don’t know, but we all change. I think of sophmore year. I think of my friends. I sit here wish for a thousand things. I’m sitting here typing listening to the music playing drum its tune. A sad song I would say, but none the less I find comfort. We all find comfort in relating things. If we are sad we play sad music because its comforting, the feeling of a relation between you and your surroundings. Heh I’m typing this out and posting it, really its more of  vent. I guess this feels to me like some sad cry for help, but it makes me feel better, I suppose its what people blog about to ease the feelings of dismay and sorrow. I have nothing to complain about, many have it worse, but every one has this feeling. I’m nott thinking this out I’m putting what ever comes from my head first, I read the book Tuesdays with Morrie, a while back by request from my closest friend, I have, and Morrie said that going head first into emotions and letting it bleed as much as possible and letting it out, makes you beable to realize, This is sadness. I am sad. I can stop now. The human is the only being we know of that uses its tear ducts in the event of emotional distress. It has nothing to do with how much smarter we are but what we are given with and the course that evolution has taken us, the way we were created and which path God pushed us in. The chain of events leading up unto this present day. We have started our journey of life when we were born and must continue walking the trail. I sound stupid and like a nerd and seem that I think I know everything but I don’t. No man does or should. But this is my interperitation on life at the current point in time. It’s a blogging site. I can see why people ven make blogs. Especially when they are sad. It makes you feel like someone is there and reading it. Its a vent. And it might as well be used. I realized that i have no friends out side of school. I find that… I don’t know. My best friend has his friend Tom from kindergarten. And many of my friends have others  out of school. My friend that I knew since Kinder, is CJ. He goes to my school. Its odd that I moved in 2nd grand and he happend to move in my same area and I met him again in th grade. We aren’t close, but still hes my friend. I’m a very average and bland person. I’m a child at heart. I don’t have many skills. Chris plays countless instruments, a great artist in my opinion, a deep set mind, height, computer knowledge, brains, grades, and countless properties of a great person . Rokie plays guitar, wrestles, smart, funny, and just plain awesome. There are countless things I can say and name about my friends and their skills. I’m not much. I’m a poor artist. I’m not a good writer. I have poor handwritting. I play video games. Lots. And I’m not even that goodd. But in hind sight i really dont want to be good at video games. If you know what I mean. MLG nerds. and such. I’m short. I’m a hypocrite. I’m a jerk. I’mnot good at sports. I’m a wimp. I’m not a good shooter. I wish i could a strategist. I can’t think of anything I’m GOOD at. I’m not special. People say OF YOUR GOOD AT DRAWING. I’m lazy. I’m not a good artist. Man. I guess we can’t always name things we’re good at. I can’t exactly think oh things i can take pride in. Life sucks. We all know that. And my friends. I can’t be proud of my friends either. They great but I’m not a good friend. I can’t say I have good friendships because I dont see myself as a good friend. Well we think of these things and we realize how average any one.

Really. Life sucks. Deal with it. Because its all we really can do. We don’t always what we want. Be he a Saint or a sinner. We are all still human

Shit…

I miss her.

Book?

Gah. Wired. Thinking of writing. Book? Gah noooot gana happan. Too lazy. And the xbox will just drag me away. Soz I will write just now. While I’m too lazy and sick of xbox for the time being.

“Fuck!” I yelled at the top of my lungs. My eyes stung. My nostrils burned. My face was burning. I began to scream at the top of my lungs.

Fuck the NSU. Fuck the gas. Fuck her. Fuck everything.

I began to panic. I was scared. My eyes were shut closed and my arms weren’t doing much to help. I lifted my left hand to my shoulder. What the fuck? Aww shit. Blood. I was shot? When the hell did this happen? I dug my fingers into the wound. No slug? Oh. Knife wound? No. wait. found it. Ow. Who the fuck shot me? I opened my eyes. .47. A fucking 47 BDE standard pistol round. I looked up. The sun was staring me down from the giant hole in the ceiling. Where the hell am I? I examined my surroundings. A fucking warehouse? How cliche. Looks like the was a struggle. Well obviously due to the 3 bodies around me. Shit. That is quite a lot of bullet holes in them. No shells? Nothing. Whoever did this took the effort of clean up. No holes in the walls.

I leaned forward and rolled the closest body over. No exit wounds. This guy is wearing a fucking. Oh shit. This is a fucking BDE agent. Oh shit. All of them are. This isn’t good. Not good. These guys are fucking top dogs. Fucking jacks of all trades. Well in this shit. I crouched down and searched the wounds for any bullets. None. These aren’t bullet holes. I checked the others for slugs. Wait.

No exit wound. No slug. No signs of any holes on any of the walls. And I’m the only one with a fucking BDE slug in my shoulder. Okay. What the fuck? So I did this? How the fuck? I don’t seem to have any weapons on me. Wait super powers? No I don’t have super powers. So. Oh. My. God. BOSWAC. Bio Organic Symbiotic Water Activated Carrier. Fuck. I’m a Carrier? Fucking. Why the hell would I be a carrier? We all had vaccines. We all took necessary precautions. We all too the fucking vaccine! Wait. The vaccine. Could it be?

Okay. Random shit. Made up as I went. Totally got sidetracked. Umm. Yeah. That story is a sack of cow shat.

Aww shiets

What the fragmentation grenade to the left heel and rib cage. Man. Its 1:30. Can’t sleep. Winterbreak. Pretty much lost contact to everyone. All but two people. Xbox Live people. Guh. Reading some people’s tumblrs. Why is winter break sad? I’m having a okay time. Video games mostly. Gah so nerdy.  Long time since i played xbox. So i went into a straight video game coma. in bed every morning till 12. In bed at 12. Shit. I doubt anyone is reading this crap. But oh well. I’m bored. And I’m wired. So I shjall type. Lost my phone. Somewhere in the car. Haven’t been able to get it back. That is the explanation to why I haven’t texted or talked to anyone but xbox live friends from schopol. Close friends. my closer friends no dice. Lost contact around Christmas day. Communications are down. Haha. I do hope people are okay. Hope people have a good break. I mean its Christmas break for Christ’s sakes. Really? Comon! Cheer up. This is vacation! If you are having all this crap and drama with friends just cut your line. its break. Spend time with your family. I’ve been playing xbox but I’m still going out with my family. Take a break. Get away from the drama. I’m prolly not one to talk about drama and shet. Due to the fact that I don’t have any but Try to be happy. I don’t know what you guys have been up to or the situation and all. But just be happy. Enjoy the vacation. Be happy.

Perperperperperpewtf?

Well then. Haven’t posted in a long while. Hmm. Well lets think. Chistmas break is coming up. My brother is coming home from training for Christmas. I missed him. I mean I don’t talk to him that much or really at all, but with him gone things are really different. No more music palying al through the night, playing me to sleep. No more random happenings of him taking the control from me while I’m playing, only to get a super long kills streak, I guess that shows me how much I need to work on my gaming. No more running up stairs after dinner as im still eating with no shirt and flexing showing every single muscle in his body. No more random invites to go the beach with him and Ate Sandra (his GF and totally awesome!) Guh. Its just shows me how much I need him. Not just the fact that he sometime is a total dick, but he puts me in place and gives me a perspective I cna spend time and think about. I miss him being there. Just at any time. Or at night when I cant sleep, and I listen closesly and hear the lyrics of a long line of Michael Jackson songs. Or when I am afraid. I just think. Hmm if there are zombies or anything not wanted in the house. I could just call my brother up and he would beat the F*$3 out of it. Just knowing that there is someone there in the house to keep you safe. He isn’t and never was very religeous to my recollection, but I pray for him. I pray for the people who need it. For friends and family who have lost someone or gone through some life changing experience. We can’t fix everything. He calls me sometimes when he can. Usualy I’m the last person that he calls. I don’t mind. From Ate Sandra to my sister, Mom, Dad, and all others who played larger parts in his life. I don’t know. I miss him and my sister. I just called my sister just now. Just to say hi and see how she’s doing. I can’t wait to see my brother and sister and everyone. Weare going to go paintball whenhe gets back. I plan to get some welts. I want something to show for. Haha. Well peace out then!

Eep.

We’ll Log time no Post. Haha. Well zen lets get to the point. I’ve been reading post and stuff. People are really depressed. Let it be weight of friendship. Hell people now adays are getting so caught up in the bad things. Maybe they don’t want to, and I bet people are going to say “Its what people thing, Its not like they want to think about that, but they do.” Well for many, this is exesivly tru. (Did i spell it right?) Many aren’t enjoying the little things in life. People need to escape some times, just to get away from all the crap. Maybe I’mjust ranting and crap, but this is whats going on in my head. I mean, I enjoy just being able to rent a freakin video game for 5 days. I’m getting the best out of it. Its fun. When I’m playing video games, not to sound like a nerd or anthing thing corny, I don’t think about, Oh I like that girl or I hate the person or My freind and I aren’t talking. When I’m playing my game, my mind is set to, “Can I use my riot shield to bash this guy’s head in before he shoots mine?” Yes I love playing video games. I’m a Nerdio. Haha. But still I mean if we give into all this bullcrap that might not even be true, then What are we left with?

Nathing. Thats what. Well just try to take a break from all the drama once and a while. Hell anything will work. Go exersize, watch funny movies, or Youtube, draw, play video games! Anything to keep your mind away, and make you smile.

Oh wow

lastwordslost:

Fuck tumblr. If sitting around all day moaning and complaing about LOVE OMG CUTE QUOTE REBLOG PLZ KTHX LOL MY TUMBULARITY IS 999999 DICKS LOL ROFL PENIS DUDE DIS NIGGA IS SO CYUUUUTE WHY DOESN’T ANYBODY LUUUURVE ME WAAAAH LOVE IS LIKE A BUTTERFLY FLOATING IN THE WIND AND IM A MONSTER SEX MACHINE THAT WILL INSERT MY GIAGANTIC PEN0R IN UR VAGOO! is what this shit is about, then screw this. I don’t even know why I made one in the first place.

You are the weakest link, goodbye.

DELETE.

I’m going to resume my life now.

Okay, so although I found that my friend did not have to be such an ass about how he said this, I have to agree. I’m kind of tired of my dashboard being flooded with stupid reblogs of people chatting back and forth and the competiton about ‘tumbalarity’. This is a blog site if you want to chat with your friends please do it on a messenger or something. I’m so tempted to delete some of the people I’m following because all I ever see are stupid reblogs of things that aren’t their thoughts. This is a place to express right? I don’t mind all the quotes and pictures and poems and such, but really? Please know when to stop or deletion will occur.

I’m not trying to be mean or constrict your ‘creativity’ and your ‘expression’ but it’s really annoying. Please and Thank You.

Hahahaha. Wow. I extremely agree. OH NOES MY TUBLARITY HAS LOST ITS ERECTION
AFGHHH. I believe Chris has a point.And the fact that he has Call of Duty MF2 now. So either way. Haha. ANd yes srsly stop fukcing FDJFLOODING THIAJDFA.

Thank you

Gargle. YouTube.

Blah. Haven’t posted anything in a long while. Soz I was thinkings. I saw Kim’s video on ze Pandemic. I thought. OOO That sound fun. Starting a Youtube thing. Maybe its stupid. But I really have a whole lot of time on my hands. Grr. Hmm Nor sure what I’m going to do for videos. Soz. If any one has any ideas. Reblog and give me some input. RATE AND SUBSCRIBE TO KIM’S YOUTUBE. SHOW YOUR SUPPORT!

Morning.

Good morning. Guh my breath smells like shit. Take to take a shower.

:D

Sitting here. Bored. Computer is being an asshole. If I could. I’d punch it in the nuts. Hard.